Thabo Maria Key. Passionate and Purpose Driven

Two days ago, I met Thabo at her beautiful home. We scheduled her interview for 1pm. At 4pm we had not had the interview. Thabo knocked me off my feet with her depth, as I made small talk with her, we ended up spending the whole day having serious girl to girl talk but no interview.  This woman is not only beautiful on the outside, her inside is what the french call Manifique' I spent hours listening to her talk about the issues of life and more, you name it, she knew it. Her wealth of knowledge is mysterious yet very enlightening. Our conversation skipped the surface, from life to death, out of body experiences, our fears and dreams, hopes and aspirations, she completely took my breath away. We had to reschedule our interview and I was able to squeeze a little bit more out of her, enjoy and be lifted.

Your bag is gorgeous, what is in it?

My purse which holds my Cash and I.D, Make up and just basic items.

Items in Thabo's Bag

Thabo, I have a very deep love for South Africa because of their history, to me every South African can sing really beautifully, I have always believed that they sing from a place of pain, the pain of their struggle...you are south African, what does it feel like to come from a country with such a beautiful yet emotional history and more so a place where the great Nelson Mandela came from?

Barbara, how do I explain this? Everywhere you go and you tell people you are from South Africa, they immediately ask me about Nelson Mandela, I am very proud of him. He gave Africans in south Africa the freedom that we have today, He played a really important role not just for Africans in South Africa but all over the world. I feel really proud of my country

South Africa has gone through a lot, has the country truly healed?

Nelson Mandela courtesy Google Images

To be honest not exactly because there are still a lot of racial tensions, We still have people who think Africans are less than they are and that is such a shame. These people still teach these untruths to their children and so the cycle continues all over again like a very vicious cycle.

How do we change this story? It isn't just South Africa, It is all over the world. For the sake of our children and their children, how can we change this?

I honestly do not know, I believe that spreading love... keep on loving everyone. Love always wins. If people could be more tolerant of each other, we would have less of these problems.

Your children are mixed, do mixed heritage children have it easier in South Africa?

Not very much, it is a little bit easier but they are still considered black by those who are small minded, as if being black is bad. So we need to teach our African children to understand that they great, powerful and that they are not less of human beings... and this is not just Africans, Asians go through these same issues even within themselves too. Our narrative also needs to change, we need to portray ourselves as better people than others have portrayed us in the media. 

I agree Thabo, what makes you happy?

Thabo and family

My children, they give me a joy I cant explain in words.

What makes you mad?

Ignorant people. People who are closed minded, who think things should always be done their way, people who are not welcoming to other people, their cultures, their experiences. People who can not understand that even though we may appear different, that we are the same in fact. People who don't understand why someone else can be vegetarian, be from a different ethnic group or race, ignorant people make me mad.

Thabo with some of her make up products

What are your dreams?

I am enjoying being a beautician, I love to look well put together. I love make up, fashion, hair. After I finished high school I started working as a beautician, I started doing facials, make up you name it, by my first month I started getting so many clients and I was truly amazed, it was then I realized that, that was my passion. Making people beautiful. I always liked make up but never knew that I would end up doing that for others. I find it more and more fulfilling and fun at the same time. My dream is to continue running it and building up my brand making others look beautiful. I believe every one is already beautiful but I enjoy enhancing peoples looks.

What is your greatest fear?

It would be losing a loved one. I don't even want to imagine the sort of pain that comes with that. I know that death is part of life but the thought of my loved ones dying  terrifies me.

Have you ever lost someone that you love dearly? 

No. I haven't lost anyone who's death has truly filled me with so much pain yet. I have not lot anyone who I hold very very dear.

What is the best advice you have ever been given?

Find something that you love and you won't remember  is work.

What do you think women could do less of to live better lives? 

A lot of women are too hard on themselves, men are different in that regard. Sometimes we are too critical and judgmental of each other. We tend to judge each other based on silly things such as what we wear, how we parent, things that do not really matter. We make assumptions based on things we wear or do not wear and it is sad that we have sort of allowed ourselves to become this way. Instead of lifting each other up we constantly tear each other down, we forget that we are all in the same boat. Life has so many layers, I expect women to be kinder, we have no idea what other people are going through but we are always ready with our assumptions of them to attack instead of protecting and supporting. We forget that we all need each other.

That's truly interesting, do you think you are living a fulfilling life right now? Do you judge yourself?

I am changing my mindset now. I used to have a different idea of fulfillment, however now I know that I am on a journey to where I want to be. I am achieving, I am meeting my goals and that is all that matters despite what the society sets as a standard for fulfillment. Each day, my mind is renewed and I am blessed.

Thabo, you described yourself to me as a spiritual person, what does spirit mean to you?

Spirit is the the inner you and that is the real you, the you that is not covered with make up, It is the honest and transparent you. It is something that everyone has. The spirit is powerful, your spirit can pick up signals,  it knows things that you cannot explain. For example you have your head thinking capability and your heart thinking capability, the spirit gives you information, signals to things you do not know by reasoning. Sometimes you sit next to a person and you can just sense an inner beauty without the person  saying a word to you or doing anything special, that is your spirit showing you. Spirit and soul are connected.

Talking about soul, do you believe that a woman's soulmate can only be her husband?

I believe there are different kinds of soul mates, your soulmate can be your child, a friend, or family. Yes your soul mate can also be your husband.

Have you ever had a near death experience?

Yes, when I was younger maybe between eight and ten years old, I almost drowned. I think it's this experience that still hasn't allowed me to learn to swim. You know I was swimming and all of a sudden, I felt like my feet couldn't touch the ground, I started struggling and I started seeing the blueness of the water, after sometime, I started seeing lights, I stopped fighting the water. It became like I could breathe under the water, then I started to see flashes of my life, different experiences I had with people, good things, silly things, funny things but it was more about how I impacted the people in the flashes. It was how I made them feel, Barbara do you see why the way you impact someones life is very important? How you make someone feel, how you treat them is so important in life? Do we leave people better than we met them? It was and still is a teachable moment for me. 

That is so powerful, do you remember what happened after?

Someone got me out, they might have given me CPR and then I woke up and that was it.

Wow! Who is your hero?

It is my mother, It know it very cliche but it is true. My mother is an orphan. Her father died before she was born and her mother died few months after she was born. She was the youngest sibling. She was raised by her grandmother and you can imagine that. Her grandmother also passed away, she had me when she was sixteen and my sister at eighteen. However despite her young age and not much of an example on how to raise children, she did such a phenomenal work with us, we aren't perfect but we have turned out so very well so thank God.

Thabo you are a Make Up Artist, what is make up to you? When you make someone up, what story are you trying to tell?

My major goal is always to enhance whoever  I work on. Everyone is beautiful and so I always enhance their best assets and make them look more polished. I usually look at my clients face and help them appreciate their beauty even more than they ever did. For me make up is art, It is also an escape for me into a very happy place, when you are passion filled for something and it is your job then you have the best job in the world.

As a professional make up artist, how do you tell someone that their make up is wrongly applied?

I never ever do, If you are my friend I will offer to help you fix it but I'll never say to them that they have done it wrong. You know Barbara, as long as their lives are not in danger, I don't feel it is necessary to point it out to them, I don't want to offend anyone.

Thabo, what do you miss most about your family back at home?

Everything. I miss the smell of home, the togetherness, the visits, there truly is no place like home.

As women we have and form friendships and sometimes those friendships can go south, have you experienced betrayal in friendships and how did you deal with it?

Oh yes, the way I handle betrayals is very severe because I am a very loyal person, if you are my friend, then you are my friend and I will never stab you in the back, if you do that to me, I just cut you off, the friendship is gone because I cannot trust you and if I cannot trust you, then why should you be in my circle? Yes I can forgive because that's what God wants us to do, I can still love you but loving you from a distance is best. I am working on being more forgiving. When you hurt me I typically just stay away from you. 

How do you handle conflict in relationships?

Relationships are easy and they are hard, when I first moved here I met people from different places and with different attitudes to friendships than the norm of what should be. I am used to, my business is my business unless I involve you, however people just seemed to be in other peoples businesses and that truly irked me, so I did the same thing, stay away. I am not a confrontational person so I will rather not let things degenerate, I just quietly stay away before it gets to a conflict zone. 

Can you usually tell if someone is genuinely a good person or not?

Yes, I usually go with my instinct, the mind is a really good thing that guides you.

Whats your top tip for happiness

Be Positive always. Pull yourself up if you fall.

What is it like when you go back home, has your friendships with friends changed?

Not really, I am still the same me. Depending where I am, I  can adapt to my surroundings. When I go back home life doesn't stop, it continues, no need to put up a show.

Talking about that, what is like when you are back home with your husband who is Caucasian and you are African? I know there are a lot of inter marriages in South Africa....

Well, yes and no. Racial tensions will always be there, mine is slightly different because my husband is older than I am, people look at you and make their own assumptions of the most shallow things sometimes, the language barrier can be a bit tricky for my husband too because he is not south African, sometimes people just judge you for choosing someone different from you, thankfully our families support us and love us very much that matters a lot.

What are you most grateful for?

For all my experiences, they have shaped me up, I have come a long way and I am not there yet but I'm on my way there and that's' really good. I want to continue being a loving person, I'm grateful for friends and family.

Favourite things.

Thabo's bag

Favourite daytime look: Girly Dresses, I am a girly girl. As a woman, remain feminine, take care of yourself, wear some lipstick or lip gloss, a little mascara, it opens up your eyes, you eyes are the windows to your soul, it attracts people to you. Tidy up your hair, it doesn't have to be much but brush it at least.

Favourite Perfume?

Lancome, la vie est belle

Heels or flats?

With kids flats, with my friends, out in town, Heels

Lipstick or eye shadow?

 Lipstick

Dresses or pants? 

Dresses

Hair extensions or Natural hair?

 I love my extensions, I love the Volume it gives

Favourite lipstick colour?

 Vibrant colors

Thabo and gift from wimb?

Favourite nail polish colour?

 Red

Designer lover or Not?

 I do not care for designer brands much. If it looks good on me, I'm happy. 

Thanks Thabo, It has been such a pleasure talking to you. Enjoy your new bag.

No, Thank you.