Eska is almost like a Disney Princess,
she is petite, gorgeous with a capital G and always looks exceptionally happy.
Underneath her princess-sy sweetness and charm lies a warrior woman. I have
heard tons of stories like hers but none has really stirred me like hers did,
We cried together during the interview and at some points, I stopped our chat
to dig dipper and share some of my own personal struggles, I left her home much
more inspired to keep telling other people’s stories, I also left extremely
challenged to become a much more better person.Eska is the definition of courage, brains and a dose of beautiful inspiration. Please Enjoy.
Eska, it looks like you are living a
fairy tale life...
Really? (Looks Shocked)
Has Life always been this beautiful for
you? You just truly always look so happy, very pleasant and just filled with
joy
Barbara, even the fairy tale princesses have had their own fair
challenges. Actually I have had people say this to me also. I just don't
believe in sharing or showing my problems except it will truly help someone, I
believe in always thinking of the best and just being positive always.
Happiness is something you create, so if I can create that for myself then
everything else just falls together
You just had baby, how has that changed your life?
 |
| Eska and Emily |
Oh wow! A lot has changed. I mean even with my husband, we have little
time for each other, all our energy goes into raising Emily. Becoming a mother
has changed me a lot... I think of someone now more than myself, everything I
do now revolves round Emily. Her arrival gave me some baby blues initially, I
couldn't believe it... With Emily, there has been a few changes here and there
nothing out of the norm, I'm the happiest mom.
The past few days, I have spoken to
women who have married outside their ethnicity and they tell me some of the
challenges they have faced, have you also faced any? Your husband is American
and you are Indonesian?
To be honest, not much. The language in the beginning? Yes, the culture?
Maybe a little, the most difficult challenge is what everyone faces, two people
becoming one. Getting to know each other more and with me, it's been great.
How did you both meet?
Barbara, this is a really funny story. I was working at an advertising
agency, we, my colleagues and I had a PR job in the city, in an area where a
lot of people hang out called Kaman, it was a work event after which we decided
to hang out. On this day, we went to a local spot and Eric shows up there. It
was a very crazy accident but that was it.
 |
| Mr and Mrs Moellendick |
When you put it that way, I really do believe it was Destiny, you know I
was not on my best behaviour that day, I was with colleagues just having fun
after a really good business deal. I was jumping up and down and dancing to
celebrate our PR success and wrap because it had been a long and stressful job.
I wasn't planning to meet anyone but it just happened. It’s so funny, it was in
Jakarta, I never hang out or party in Jakarta, I never dance with strangers and
he was a stranger to me that day. My friends who were with me completely forgot
about me and left me dancing with this stranger who became my husband, this is
something we would never do to each other when we were out, we always had each
other’s backs because there are some crazy people out there, but on this day I
couldn't even find my friends, so I was left with this nice stranger. So yes it
was destiny.
What was growing up like for you?
My childhood was normal not very easy. I lived in a small town and my
parents were teachers. My mom was pretty relaxed but my father had serious high
expectations for me. My parents were teachers, and so they really desired that
I did extremely well at school, especially as the first child too so I could be
a role model for my siblings and I did very well. I got scholarships for my
junior high school and I really enjoyed school too. When I got to high school,
everything changed, I left my small town to go to high school in the city. It
was a terrible time, it was really awful Barbara, the girls there were very
mean, I hardly had any friends, they didn't like me very much. They had cliques
and were never interested in me because I wasn't as cool as they were, I didn't
wear the cool clothes. I was a small town girl, they were city girls, they
didn't like me because of my skin colour too because I am dark.
Wait a minute, what do you mean by
dark? You aren't dark, I'm African, you are Asian...I am a bit confused.
Oh in Asia, I am considered dark skinned and not beautiful. Those who
are much fairer in complexion are considered beautiful.
Oh my goodness, this is really strange,
In Nigeria, we have light skinned girls and dark skinned girl like myself, no
one places special emphasis on the colour, no one regards dark girls are ugly,
I have heard about this from other countries like Pakistan and in India...
Well, yes Barbara, it is different in Indonesia. Also do not forget that
in high school, my school was in the city, all the girls there were exposed to
all the big brands that I had no clue about. They drove me so so crazy,
depressed and de-motivated to stay in school.
How did you get over it Eska?
 |
| The delicious tea we both shared. |
Honestly, it was not very easy but I challenged myself, I said to
myself, "now these people are looking down on me but I will work so hard
with my life that they will all come back to look for me and want to be friends
with me". So, during my college, I worked like crazy. I took a job while
still in school, I got a job with a small advertising firm and was learning the
practical parts while I was in school studying it. I also went to very many self-development
programs.
No one really knew how hard I was working. The small firm I joined had my friend’s mother as their Accounts Executive, they needed someone but couldn't really afford to
pay a huge salary to a graduate, so they hired me, gave me a little salary and
taught me almost everything I know and didn't learn in school. I worked days
and went to school in the evenings. By the time I finished college of course,
many firms were ready to hire me because I was young but very experienced. So
of course I was earning a very good pay, I was able to buy nice things for
myself, make really good connections with people in the business world and go
to nice places. Before you knew it I was very cool according to other people’s
definition of cool. They started having a different perception of me.
Do you think today even as adults, we have mean girls?
Yes, but as adults we can manage people better. As a child it was much
more difficult, I remember going home to my mom crying and asking her why my
skin was dark because my sister had very light skin. My mom was so worried
for me, she asked me if I wanted some creams to make me brighter. My mom was
just a school teacher who wasn't making a lot of money yet she wanted to buy
these expensive creams for me, to do anything to make me happy. When I started working, I took some vitamin C injections to lighten my skin because my mind was
wired so differently, I thought I was inferior because of my skin colour. It is
so crazy, my perception for this changed when I met my husband. He made me feel
like I was perfect and didn't need to change a thing about myself. I used to
wear long clothing to cover up, once, he had invited me to ride a motorcycle
with him and so I wore a tank top, immediately people started gushing about my
skin colour, my mind shifted from that very day.
Oh, Eska, I want every young girl
going through this to read this?
Yeah, hopefully. These are the kinds of lessons people should hear about
and learn from.
So do you think we still have mean
girls even as adults today?
 |
| Eska doesn't tell people much, she is really great at helping others look beautiful, Got lashes? |
Good one! I agree with you on
that. Yes you look really young with your beautiful and youthful face, what
is your beauty secret? I've never seen you look less than perfect before.
Oh Barbara, That cannot be true. I am just me. I just buy things that
look nice on me. I use moisturizers like every person, I think that once you
are happy with yourself your inner beauty will shine out. I work out though,
that helps too.
You have conquered a lot by being
determined, what's something you have been through in life, that you never want
your daughter to experience?
You know, (gets very emotional) I never want my daughter to have so much
responsibility for anyone else like I have had, except by choice not just
obligation. When my husband proposed to me, I got sick for days, because I knew
I would be moving to another county where I wasn't sure I would make as much
money as I was making at home, I was scared about not being able to speak
English fluently. I needed my job to continue supporting my family. I had
been offered a higher paying job but was declined only because it was a western
run company, my resume was perfect, I was the ideal candidate but because I
couldn't do presentations in English, so that was scary, I was worried about
not being able to support my family and that's a feeling I never want my
daughter to have.
 |
| My shoes, I will always keep them, They are the first pair of shoes I bought when I started working. They remind me of how hard I have worked, it also reminds me to stay humble. |
Wait minute, are you saying you
couldn't speak English?
No I couldn't. Eric taught me.
Eska, you are an extremely intelligent
woman, Your English is more than average, You come across to me as though you
have spoken English since you were a child, to learn a second language as an
adult and speak it the way you do deserves accolades. I am really impressed and
I applaud you dear.
Well, thank you. Eric has been extremely patient and very helpful I
learned to speak from him.
I don't want to divert from what you
have just shared with me. It is powerful. You are a giver, no one forced you to
give to support your family, people are not that generous in the world we live
in today, it is a dog eat dog world, I will fend for myself, you fend for
yourself. That is why good things will continuously follow people who are selfless
like yourself, who care for others and help them even more than they can.
I agree a million percent. That is exactly what happened to me. My
husband became a pillar of support for me, he understood my pain of having to
leave my job to become one with him, he helped to ease my burdens a lot. He is
a model husband for all men whose wives sacrifice all they have to also support
their husbands own dreams.
I wasn't used to spending anyone else's money, I spent my own money in
Indonesia, when I married Eric, he had to ask me why I wasn't buying things for
myself, I told him it was because I don't know how to spend someone else's
money. It was really funny and strange, and we were able to resolve it.
So anyway, I want my daughter to not be saddled with any responsibility that is
not hers.
This is your husbands’ second marriage,
it is your first. How does it feel?
Thankfully we are all adults, no woman or man goes into marriage
with the aim of failing, we all fail at different things. My husband knows that
I have standards, I wouldn't go into a relationship with him if he was still in
his first marriage. We got together after their marriage had ended. Emily loves
her other siblings and they love her too.
Disloyalty, people being negative is something I don't like.
How do you handle this?
I do not confront it, I just distance myself from the drama, too much in
life to be happy about.
What does family mean to you?
Everything.
What does friendship mean to you?
Someone who supports you, who is truthful to you no matter what. That is
real friendship.
What gives you Joy?
I find joy in everything Barbara, as long as I am alive, I will always
be filled with Joy.
What makes you sad?
When I have to do something I really don't want to do.
Who is your role model in Life?
No one.
If you could get one wish, what would
it be?
Nothing really. I am content.
Who do you admire most in life?
My husband, he taught me so much, to speak English for example, he was
extremely patient. I love the way he loves me and his family not just me and
Emily, He is a friend, a brother and a husband.
What are your dreams?
Hmmm, before it was being really successful in my career, now it just to
continue being happy and as content as I am.
What's in your bag Eska?
Emilys things, wallet, phone, keys. I.D cards
Lets take a look Barbara.
What do you want the world to always remember you for?
Hmm. That I was a good person, a good mother, a good wife and a good friend.
Eska, thank you for sharing with me.
Keep shinning and keep being a beautiful light.
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